It is hard to be in the military and constantly separated from those you love. That separation is made that much harder when a holiday or special event comes around. Whether it is Christmas, Easter, or an anniversary, a gloom can be cast over those days without the people you want to celebrate with.
So what do you do? You could sit around and mope all sad and miserable, or you can choose a better attitude and try to make the best of the day.
Just a Day
I think the most important thing to remember is that a holiday is much more than an arbitrary day on the calendar. It really doesn’t matter when you celebrate. This year, we had Thanksgiving on October 25th when family was in town, and Christmas will be on New Year’s Day. I celebrated a year’s worth of holidays in two weeks when my husband was visiting me. Who you are with is so much more important than when it is.
Say Yes
Most likely, you are not the only one around who is away from their loved ones. There is probably someone having a Friendsgiving, Christmas party, or Easter dinner who would be more than happy to have you join. I have begrudgingly said yes to going to these sorts of events when I really didn’t want to, and have never regretted that decision.
If no one is having a get-together, then you organize it. There is probably someone looking for somewhere to go. No one wants to be alone during a holiday. Even having another couple over for dinner makes a holiday feel more festive.
Find Community
This one takes a bit of preparation, but finding a good group of friends or some adoptive parents makes it easy to find people to celebrate with. I highly recommend going to church to find this. No matter where we are, we have found a good church full of people who are more than willing to welcome me into their home. I have even had to turn down invitations because too many people have offered to have us join their family’s celebration.
Set Guidelines
Most of the time, we know ourselves pretty well and know what will make us feel better and what will make us even more homesick. Have the conversations ahead of time with people. Do you want to receive a ton of photos from the big family get-together, or will they make you sad? Would you like to video chat as everyone opens presents, or will that make you feel more left out?
Tell your family ahead of time what you want to do. Otherwise, well-intentioned loved ones will trap you into an hour-long phone call you didn’t want to be a part of.
Romantic Holidays
When you are separated from your loved one on a romantic holiday, be it Valentine’s Day or an anniversary, new emotions arise. While nothing is as good as physically being with that person, there are some things you can do to make the day easier for yourself. What you are able to do will largely depend on your particular situation. If you want more ideas on long-distance communication, you can check out my post here.
Plan Ahead
If you know that you will not be able to talk to each other on the special day, plan ahead and write each other a letter to be opened when the day arrives. I wrote my husband a journal full of pre-staged letters when he went overseas. This is an especially good idea if you don’t know how long you will be apart or when you will be able to communicate.
Communication Available
If communication is readily available, then there is the obvious phone call option. You could also potentially send a gift. I recommend an editable option if your significant other is dealing with limited storage space.
Something that has a nice romantic touch as well is sending a letter, snail mail style. It always felt extra special to me to write and receive a physical letter. Email works as well if that is a way communication can get through.
I hope and pray that you are surrounded by people you love every holiday that comes your way. Whether it is your chosen family or genetic, I hope you have a time of joy and celebration.
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