Life As a Woman in The Military

Caveat: All of my statements in this post are based purely on my specific experiences and opinions. If you are a woman considering joining the military, please do your research into the specific branch and job that you wish to have. Try to talk to women who are not simply recruiters to get their opinions before making any decisions for yourself.

I am often asked what life is like as a woman in the military. Whether you are considering joining or simply curious, I hope this will help you to gain some insight into what life is like as a female in the military. For personal information safety, I will not be stating which branch of service I am in, and I will use vague terms that are not technically correct. I also feel it is important to state what I hope is the obvious. This is my experience only. Every woman will go through something different depending on the branch and who they are serving with.

Sexual Harassment

We will start off with the big one, which I am sure weighs heavily on many people’s minds. While the actual statistics vary, from what I have seen and heard from other women, I am going to say there is a 100% chance that you will feel sexually harassed in some way at some point during your service. There are thankfully very low statistics on assault, but you are almost guaranteed to be on the receiving end of some comment that you don’t appreciate.

Sex also tends to be one of the guys’ favorite conversations to fill boredom. I have been very fortunate with most of the men that I work with. They have been very considerate of my feelings on this matter and will either ask if I am okay with the conversation or stop it if I ask them to.

Advice

My best advice for combating this is to say something. I think more people than you imagine will be willing to stop if asked. If they don’t, never hesitate to bring it up the chain of command. While the military has come a long way since allowing females to join, inappropriate behavior is still embedded in the culture. There is typically a drastic difference in the number of men and women in the workplace, which doesn’t help.

My second piece of advice on this topic, and what I feel has really protected me, is my religion and innocence. I have always made it clear that I am a Christian to those around me. Even people who couldn’t care less about religion for themselves will be considerate of others’ views. I am not afraid to be a little dramatic about my innocence at times. This has served to make some of the guys strangely protective of me.

Discrimination

There will be men who think you are less capable because you are a woman. There will be those who will treat you as an equal to an unrealistic level. Let’s face it, as a whole, women are physically not as strong or tall as men. It is simply true.

The worst discrimination I have faced was when I volunteered for a working party. I showed up to move some supplies and was told to go find a man to take my place. All things considered, not the worst. I went back with the man and had no problem carrying anything I was handed.

Advice

I advise any woman to know her own strength. Know what you can carry and what you can’t. There is no point in hurting yourself to prove a point. You also have the incredible ability to choose how you wish to respond to situations. I learned early in my career that I shouldn’t complain if someone else wants to do the heavy lifting for me. The less sweat I have to put forth on a hot day, the better, in my opinion.

Accommodations

I am going to again specify that this is my experience, but I have not had too many problems with the places I work and live, having accommodations for females. My biggest problem has been with bathrooms. In a building, there will be one bathroom. Usually, the smallest and most inconveniently located one.

This is just me complaining here, but even in newer construction buildings, there are always fewer stalls available in the female bathroom than male. Granted, there are fewer of us, but we have smaller bladders, and with the nature of life, we take longer.

Periods

I have been very blessed in this department. When I went through boot camp, they gave us the option to use birth control pills to try to stop our periods, and I had success. Others did not. Some women had their stop simply due to the stress of the situation, while others had very heavy periods.

I was fortunate that I got married during school, and the birth control I chose stopped my period before moving on with my job. I didn’t experience one until I was trying to get pregnant, and thankfully didn’t have to wait too long. It was highly inconvenient for the months I had a period while working, but not impossible to manage. My job is in the middle of extremes. I wasn’t working in an office, but I also wasn’t out in the middle of nowhere with no bathroom available other than a hole I dug in the ground.

Advice

I recommend using birth control to your advantage in boot camp, and depending on what your job is, even after. There is some strong opposition to this for both moral and health reasons, so of course, do what you feel comfortable with. If you do not want to, or are unable to stop your period, double up on protection if you know bathroom access is limited. Talk to other women that you work with and see what they do.

Physical Aspect

For the most part, there is not much that I have not been able to do physically. Most of my problems are related more to height than physical strength. As a 5′ 1″ lady, sometimes, I just can’t reach. There are times when I have not been strong enough to lift something, at least not without hurting myself, but I have been able to get help. I don’t have a super labor-intensive job, though.

Side note: If you walk up to a group of guys and ask, “Which of you gentlemen is the strongest?” You will find ready volunteers to help you.

Would I Recommend Joining?

This is a complicated question. It will be very dependent upon each individual. While I have no doubt that it was God’s plan for my life to enlist and end up in the job I was given and be put into the location I have been put, I have not particularly enjoyed my military career.

One of the driving forces for my enlistment was not knowing what I would have done otherwise. The problem is, I found out pretty quickly what I would rather do, but I still had a lot more time on my contract before I could fulfill my dream. Depending on what you discover you want to do, this might not be a problem for you. The military could be a wonderful place for you to get an education (for free) and acquire new skills (for free) that can help you pursue your post-military career. It happens for a lot of people that way. However, the military is not particularly conducive to wanting to become a stay-at-home mom. If you are in a similar place, check out my post on simple ways to help you feel more like a homemaker.

Finances are another big reason people enlist. College is expensive, and you can go for free after, and sometimes even during. The military provides a consistent paycheck, and who can forget about the sign-on bonuses? It is up to you if you think the money is worth it. I get about 50/50 results on this question. Life goals are a big contributor to the answer.

Conclusion

While military culture has progressed a long way, I personally still don’t think it is a place for women. This is again my experience. I know that there is the mindset that if women never enlist, then the culture will never change, but it has been over 80 years, and it still needs a lot of work. The opinion of many is that if you are going to join, you need to be prepared to be one of the boys. I am not a boy, nor do I have any desire to act as such.

I hope you found this helpful if you are trying to decide if military service is right for you. If you are a female in the military yourself, please leave a comment to share your opinions on the matter. If you have any questions, please leave a comment to ask, or feel free to email me at [email protected]. I would be happy to help in whatever way I can.