When I was pregnant with Warren, I had the desire to stay home and raise him. So once he was born I quit my job as payroll clerk at the mines and began my journey as a stay-at-home mama. I remember the morning after I had signed my quit sheet, laying there in bed second guessing my decision, but it was almost instant peace washed over me as I rolled over and looked at my precious baby boy. No doubt I had made the right decision for us. The thought of someone else getting to experience his milestones, teach him, watch him learn new things, care for him, and love on him each and every day other than me just broke my heart. Thankfully the Lord blessed me to be able to do so. The fact that, despite our divorce, I have been able to remain a stay-at-home mom has been a miracle in itself and I am so so thankful for that.
The past 5.5 years have been such a blessing, but I knew the time would come that I would begin to work full-time again. God has provided in everyway up until this point and He never ceases to amaze me. Down to the smallest of details. Some of which I don’t always understand. But, as the Bible says, we are not to understand His ways. His thoughts and ways are higher.
Isaiah 55:8-9 (ESV)
8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
My hearts desire was to live on the farm in Nebo forever, it was our home. It is a gorgeous piece of property and we have made so many memories there! But sometimes God’s desire and our desire don’t match up. I never really fretted over where our home would be by the summer of which our divorce agreement would end. I knew one way or another God would provide. And He did, just not in the way I had envisioned. In my mind, up until now, if we moved, I always pictured buying a house. I’ve always seen renting as a waste of money that could be invested. Over the past 5 years I had a lot of different ideas but none of which are where we have ended up. My job and where Warren is going to school has moved us. I did not purchase a home but am renting. After much prayer and guidance from the Lord it was clear that this is what’s in our best interest for this season of life. And thank God He cares enough about me to not give me what I want but what is best! He can see what is up ahead, I can’t. The things Warren and I miss most about the farm we actually have access to at our new home, plus some! We have the sweetest neighbors, one of which has goats, donkeys and a horse named Elvis. Some others that have a pond and that have told us we can come fish anytime. And others that allow us to walk their property, this was one of our favorite things to do on the farm. We can’t wait until the fall to see what all we may discover!! Like I said, all the way down to the smallest of details He has provided! God is good.
Back in January He laid the word TRUST on my heart for my word this year. He is definitely teaching me to trust Him. I struggle more than I like to admit with this but my trust in Him is deepening.
Excited for this new adventure!