Forgetting what is behind & straining toward what is ahead..

In the midst of our separation, I was out of church. Upon getting married I had left my home church and joined my husband’s. When the truth came out of his infidelity, I just couldn’t bring myself to sit in a pew with him. During that time, my Aunt was in a coma and my 90 year old Grandpa, aka Pop, was getting sicker by the day. I hated the thought of adding any more stress to my family so I decided to keep things private and stay out of church for awhile. I felt very isolated. It was just me and my 15 month old son at home, I realized all I had was God to lean on. Little did I know that’s all I needed. That season out of church was the closest I have ever been to the Lord. I dug more into the word, prayed more, wrote in my prayer journal, spoke with Christian friends more… and I look back and am so thankful for that time. It was a hard, dark time, but the good Lord was my light.

Proverbs 3:5-6  Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.

As we enter into 2020, I reflect back onto not only this past year but the past 4 years.  I faced many challenges and experienced many different emotions during this season of life. Yet, finally, these past few months I have had a period of “rest”. Resting in Him. Each time my mind wandered onto things that made me worry or stress out, I would repeat Proverbs 3:5-6 in my mind. Over and over. Things in this life aren’t always going to turn out as we had planned.  Which is why He tells us to not lean on our own understanding. Trust Him. I have prayed  and asked what my word for 2020 is and Trust is what was laid on my heart. My son and I will be facing many changes in the upcoming year so it’s no surprise He is wanting me to dig in more about trusting Him. I want to learn more about His intentions for me and my son. I believe the more I know about His love and intentions, the more I will trust in His ways. In that, allowing me to “rest in Him”.

Matthew 11:28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

In our divorce we agreed that I would continue to raise our son on the farm until he began kindergarten. He will start kindergarten in the fall, so please be praying for us as we wait and see what our next chapter holds. One step at a time, I am trusting God has our best in mind.

 

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