Letting Go..

I first began Aprons and Boots in the Spring 2016. If you would like to go back & read the blogs from the beginning it may give you an idea of where God was leading me up until now. This blog started as an outlet for me. I had worked for years but after quitting my job and becoming a stay-at-home mom I felt I was losing myself and needed a hobby or something for “me”. I loved and still love being a stay-at-home mom. I am blessed to be able to watch my son grow and learn, I cherish these days because I know how fast they will and are going by.

During April of 2016 I began to feel the Lord really drawing me near to Him. My curiosity growing, I began a prayer journal and read my devotion each day trying to seek out where He was leading me. As I would write my blogs I felt He was wanting me to share more of my story. Not just surface stuff. My husband at the time and I had been through some trials and (to my knowledge) had worked through them. He was speaking at different churches and it was obvious the Lord was using him. Finally, I felt as if God had me on hold. It was as if I was waiting on a missing puzzle piece in order to fulfill the purpose He was leading me towards. I sat down with my husband and discussed this with him, I explained where my heart was and that maybe what the Lord was asking me to do included him, the two of us sharing our story. My husband was hesitant and said he wasn’t ready to share our story. I truly felt we could help others. I know when I go through hard times it is always helpful and encouraging to hear about someone else that has experienced something similar. Someone to relate to, especially those that have worked through them and came out on the other side okay. As time went by, the Lord continued nudging me. I had strong conviction to share our story. The more I pushed it with my husband the more distant he became. Until one day I had a tugging at my heart that something was not right. I confronted my husband and asked if he was being unfaithful again, he denied it. Shortly after, that tugging became intense and I confronted him once more. He finally admitted, he was indeed being unfaithful.

This blog is not intended to bash my now ex-husband. The intentions of this blog is to tell the story of how the Lord has led me through. How He is teaching me to let go of my own desires and dreams and allow Him to lead me. How once I began seeking His will for my life, He began revealing ways I was not in His will and He began chipping away things that were not best for me. How rocky the road can be when we do begin to live for the Lord. I feel as if Christianity on the outside seems as if we are to live perfect lives. But from my experience I am learning that is far from the truth. We are to strive to live more like Jesus, but that is not because we HAVE to but because we WANT to. The more I seek Him and His will the more I want to. Do I still have bad days where I doubt? Yes. We are human. None of us are perfect and none of us will be. This is even more reason to be open and honest and share our stories with the world. I read in my devotion today, “God never said that we had to have a perfect faith; He said that He is the author and perfecter of our faith.” That is so comforting to me. I am hard on myself sometimes. I feel I am not where I need to be to help others or write this blog or teach a Sunday School class but what I’m discovering is He will use us where we are, no matter where that is, if we are willing and allow Him to.

Pray for me as I begin to share my journey with you all. As corny as it sounds: the story of how God brought me to it and is bringing me through it.

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