Feelin’ there’s something more

I want to figure out just who I am. If I died tomorrow, have I done anything in my life to make an impact?  I have  always been a social person. I love to be around people and interact with them. Becoming a stay-at-home-mama…well let’s just say my main means for socializing are with my 15 month old son, my dog, and my cat. *sigh*  I love where I am at and wouldn’t change it for the world. But as Reba once said “is there life beyond her family and her home”?

The phrase “identity crisis” has been running through my mind lately. Though I wasn’t sure of the definition at the time, all the thoughts I’ve been having led me to believe that’s what I have been dealing with.

IDENTITY CRISIS- a period of uncertainty and confusion in which a person’s sense of identity becomes insecure, typically due to a change in their expected aims or role in society.

No, I didn’t get married at 20. I did do some living before I decided to stay home but I have always had a lack of confidence. There are things I haven’t done and won’t do because of it. Even as small as not wearing something because I worry what others may think of me. I believe the first step to figuring out “just who I am” is to gain some confidence and to stop worrying what others think. If I keep living my life based off of what others think of me will I ever truly be happy? No. The only opinion I should care about is the Man upstairs. If I am living life to meet His standards (Heaven help me :-/) then nothing else should matter. I am a Christian, but I am a work in progress. Never will I proclaim to be perfect because good gravy I never will be.

The second step is to seek and find what God’s will is for my life. I believe staying home to raise my son and care for my family was in His will but I also feel like there’s more. It’s normal to be scared of what it might be because of things He may ask of you. You hear of so many people that are asked to step out of their comfort zone when seeking God’s will for their lives but gosh it really should be scarier not to. Be praying for me as I begin this process. I need to pray more specifically and fervently….and read His word. (By reading this y’all must think I am Miss Churchy Church but in all honesty I am preaching to myself and I feel like by putting this out there maybe it will hold me accountable)

The third step that I really desire right now are deeper relationships with those in my life. I believe we should share our lives with others. Good and bad. I am guilty for not doing this because of fear. Once again, fear of what other’s may think. Through this process of finding out who I am, I hope to share some things that have happened in my life. In hopes that there are others out there that can relate and that we can help one another.


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